I NEED to poop!
So, long story short, I almost pooped in my pants today.
I go on evening walks every day.
Today, as with every other day, I decided to go for a walk around 3 pm (because it gets really cold by the evening). I usually go alongside the Nakkhu khola.
So, there I went, feeling the winter breeze.
Everything was going fine, but apparently, I had overestimated the cold. I had a warm jacket on when I left home. But at 3, the sun was still high up, so I was sweating like a pig as I was moving up a tiny hill. Hence, I decided to take off my jacket, and carry it in my bad instead (I always have by school bag with me). And I did, after which I only had a thin t-shirt on. It felt good, no more sweating.
Now, on this particular day, I happen to feel quite adventurous so I decided to go farther along the river than I had ever been before (maybe because I had missed yesterday’s evening walk because of the podcast thing). Hence, I walked for like an hour straight down the river, which led me to some pretty cool village like places XD
And then I stopped, because it had been an hour and it would take an hour more to get back home. So, I decided to turn back.
Now, at the very moment that I turned around; something happened. I felt this weird GROWLING sound in my tummy. And then, even before I knew it, I had an intenseeeee urge to poop! You know, the kind you get when you are having a terrible diarrhea lol
Maybe it was because of the cold (cause remember? I only had a t-shirt on) or something else. But regardless of the fucking reason, I had a serious problem at hand.
I heard a voice in my head: “You are in real TROUBLE bruh”
And I whole heartly agreed.
So, to summarize the situation, imagine this:
- I am like an hour away from home, in the middle of nowhere (there were rice fields all around me lol)
- And I need to poop! Like not even kidding, like ASAP
If you were in my shoes, what would you do?
I started thinking about options:
- Shit in the rice field
- Hold it in to the best of your ability, until you get home
- Ask a nearby home, “Um.. excuse me, can I take a dump in your home?”
Damn! None of these looked like good options to me. Here is why:
Option 1: Well, ngl it honestly sounded like a solid idea in the moment… but come on! How would I wipe my ass? With leaves?
Option 2: I could, but needless to say, I have serious self-confidence issues lol. My bowel controlling abilities are questionable to say the least.
Option 3: I mean, I wouldn’t want a stranger to shit in my house and just leave lol. Needless to say, it was way too awkward for me.
So, I did what I do best, I compromised.
I compromised between option 2 and 3 (although option 1 would have been a great story to tell!). I decided, I would hold it in as long as I can, until I find a suitable house to ask for help or get home.
And if I fail… then well…. we all have shit our pants at some point in our lives, right? Anyone?
And so the mission begins!
I’m trying all tricks in the books to hold my shit together (no pun intended).
I’m walking slowly, so I don’t shake things up lol
I’m also using this ancient Japanese technique called, “Trying to fart” to get the excess gas out. It was arguably a risky move, but I had to do it.
So, long story short, I finally gather up the courage to ask this uncle at this cheap ass restaurant (you know, where they only serve tea and biscuits) to let me use his toilet cause I couldn’t hold it in any longer. And surprisingly, he was super nice about it and I took, arguably the most satisfying shit of my life!
It was such a relief! I can’t even describe it in words.
So, the moral of the story is: Um… don’t take your fucking jacket off during evening walks?
Oh and, Thank you uncle! You literally saved my life. I hope your restaurant becomes more successful and your chickens lay more eggs! (he had lots of chicken too).
Cheers!
XD
Honestblogs 