You are a dumbass.
Yes, you heard it right. And yes, I am talking to you.
YOU ARE A DUMB MOTHERFUCKER.
Now hold your horses! Before you get offended and start complaining about my apparent lack of manners, just hear me out.
The thing is, all of what you read above; I tell this to myself all the time. So, I’m not a hypocrite who is demeaning everyone around me saying they are dumb lol, in fact, I think that I am the most stupid person on the whole goddamn planet.
Now, this might not be a unique experience, I understand that many people have self esteem issues and they tell the same narrative to themselves. But again, I think my case is different since I don’t think being stupid is a bad thing (unlike people who have self-worth issues). I look at it as a matter-of-fact thing. I am not sad that I’m stupid. It is what it is.
But why do you think you are dumb in the first place lol?
Ah, that a great question!
Well, the thing is, all my life I used to think I was smart. I used to think I was special and that I was different from everyone else (in a good way). While some of it is true (I mean there is no other person like me in the world), most of what I said a moment ago is just wrong lol.
No, in reality, I am not special. I am not that smart. I am not that different.
I am just your average guy who thinks that he is all of the things above. But in reality, he is, as I said average (or possibly even dumb).
The point is, I used to have this false sense of my own image that I used to carry around in my head. I used to think that I was so smart, that I knew better than everyone else, and that I deserved special treatment in life. It was, I guess my naiveness or my inflated ego that led me to believe these conceptions about myself, but either way, I did believe that I was the chosen one lol.
But as I experience more of this thing we call: LIFE, I have slowly come to realize that I am NOT so different after all. As I meet more people, do more things and learn new stuff in life, I have come to realize that there are people who are way smarter than me and who also happen to be a lot more modest than my (not so humble) self. As I grow older, I feel like I’m an imposter in this game of life.
I’m a charlatan who is tricking himself into believe things that are not true.
I feel fake.
See, as I reflect on my past actions and my present self, I have realized that most of my life I have been lying to myself. We all are masterful liars. And we lie better to ourselves than to others. I tricked myself into believing that I was better than others. Why? Because it makes me feel good about myself and that way, I can have a moral high ground and judge other people who are going about their lives.
As buddha once pointed, I am a fool who thinks he knows everything.
And what’s more, I have this high-class image of myself in my head that doesn’t allow me to do certain things. I mean, I being form a middle-class family, certainly consider doing manual labor such as pulling a rickshaw as a “low life” job. I look down on those who are cleaning toilets for a living because I think I am better than them. And that I would NEVER do such demeaning job like those people.
Why?
Because my parents happen to be rich, and I happen to get an education in a private college. I think my pace is amongst the stars lol.
I think I DESERVE good things in life.
But as I have failed many a times in life (a list of those would be too long for this article), I have, time and again been showed my rightful place by the greatest teacher called, LIFE. I thought I deserved things in life, like a Harvard education and a beautiful home overlooking the oceans, but SURPRISE motherfucker! I didn’t really get any of those just because I deserved them lol. In fact, I didn’t get any of that, period.
The truth is: YOU DON’T DESERVE SHIT IN LIFE. No, you get what you work for. It doesn’t matter where you are born or who you think you are, in life you only get what you truly work for.
Hence, in a way, me and the guy who is cleaning people’s shit for a living are the same. He doesn’t deserve anything in life, and neither do I. Him and I are separated by a thin line, which is my parent’s wealth and nothing more. He just happens to come out of a poor pussy, while I happen to come out of a rich one. That’s literally it. Hence, I could easily be in his place and he could easily be in mine.
I am not made out of gold and silver; I’m made out of the same stuff the “toilet guy” is made out of: It’s all flesh and bones lol. So, it’s fucking stupid of me thinking of myself as “better” or “superior” than him. And it’s also stupid of him to think that he is “lower” than me.
Hence, when you realize this simple truth, the whole concept of comparing and judging people goes out of the fucking window.
So as a conclusion of my mindless rant lol, these are things I think you should take home with you:
- We all lie to ourselves. We are not as good as we think we are.
- There are people who are way smarter, better looking and modest than us. So, stay humble you little bitch!
- You don’t deserve shit in life. So, stop judging yourself and others.
Cheers!
= )
Honestblogs 