The earth is flat.
The aliens are here.
The illuminati controls the world.
5G causes corona vir….
Wait.
Hold on a minute.
What in the actual fuck is this?
Ah this?
Well, this my friend, is what you would call the vast, never ending rabbit hole of conspiracy theories. If you were fortunate enough to not come across one of these up until now, then congratulations! you are one of those lucky few who haven’t experienced the worst of the internet.
Ah the good old conspiracy theories.
Up until a few years ago, I used to think that these dumb ass theories are obviously a joke. That there are people trolling the internet with these utterly ridiculous statements and speculations. That surely no one is stupid enough to believe in this stuff.
Ah how naive I was back then. How strong had my faith been in humanity…. on all those people who inhibit this beautiful planet alongside me. But alas! I was wrong. For my faith in human beings exceeded the reality of this world, and how it was brutally shattered when I saw this bullshit and moreover, the people who actually believe it. (damn, that was almost poetic lol ngl).
So you might say, “sure you might say that those people who believe in conspiracy theories are a bunch of stupid morons, but how can we be sure you don’t enjoy that stuff yourself?”
Good question.
Because I actually do enjoy conspiracy theories myself!
Now now, don’t accuse me of being a hypocrite (aren’t we all are?), but let me explain lol.
I don’t necessarily enjoy (nor believe) the dumb-ass theories myself but, I am a fine connoisseur of the people who actually, genuinely do so. ; )
See, I am fascinate by people in general. I am all about who does what and why. So what is better than a fine specimen of someone who believes that the earth is flat! I mean you can’t find someone more interesting these people lol. I just love them. I absolutely enjoy watching them speak, trying to give proofs to justify their crazy theories which they hold so near and dear to their heart (they actually believe it, I shit you not). It is just a pure joy to watch them speak so passionately about why they are sure that their neighbor is an alien. It’s almost orgasmic for me (don’t judge me).
Delusional.
Yes, that’s what it’s all about. Delusion. These people are delusional about life. I believe (and I’m no fucking psychologist) that these people have had something in their life, some terrible event or maybe they might have had an exceptionally miserable life, which pushed them into delusion; believing utter bullshit theories. These people have had such a painful life; they had been victims of the harsh realities of life (maybe some of them were heroin addicts, severely obese, prostitute, lost all their money, discarded by their families, lonely, mentally ill, or just really poor) and that they desperately try to make sense of what is happening in their lives. They try to justify why is their life so miserable, why does the society treat them like shit or why do they feel like shit. They are in constant agonizing pain; you know the type where people want to… um kill themselves? (whoa, got a little dark huh lol).
These people should not be made fun of, but instead be helped. We should, instead of discarding them from the society, try to actually re-establish themselves in their communities and be patient with them. These are hurt people, most of them broken inside, who have had a very painful life unlike the most of us. But, it’s fun to watch them stumble, bumble and act like complete fucking morons isn’t it? Ah, it’s the most entertaining thing ever! I love it lol.
So in desperately trying to find ways to justify their fucked up situation, they find the holy grail; the ‘messiah’ of people who are in pain and misery: conspiracy theories and cults. I will write a separate article about cults inshaallah, it’s a super interesting topic (I’m already hard lol / geez that was gross!). For now, let’s talk about conspiracy theories. So these people want to play the victim role; they want to think of themselves as victims, that something, someone, ‘out there’ caused all the misery they have in their lives. That way, they don’t have to take responsibility for their life decisions which put them in their fucked up situation in the first place. It’s a mechanism of avoidance. By playing the victim, they conveniently avoid responsibility for their situation and blame it all on what’s “out there”. And of course, conspiracy theories help them do exactly that.
So any dumb-ass who believes in any sort of conspiracy theory, whether it be about the extra terrestrials or the flat earth; they all have something in common. They all, in one way or the other, believe that, “we” (as in everyone, including me and you) have absolutely no control over our lives. All of them, and by that I mean ALL, of them deep down believe that there is “something” or “someone” or better yet, “a group of someones” who controls the whole world, and they (including us lol), are just puppets with strings attached. This “mysterious” entity is usually, the ultra rich, the government, even aliens, or the cherry on the fucking pie; “THE ILLUMINATI”. That, ladies and gentlemen, that is the foundation of all conspiracy theories and it’s followers. Damn, I just figured out this whole shit (genius level 100), and believe me because I’ve done extensive research on this (nah not really lol).
So there you go, the secret sauce of all of these dumb conspiracy theories. Delivered to you, right to your computer screen (thank me later ; ).
But well, “who are these people?”, “where do they live?”, “how does their life look like?”.
Ah these are all good, reasonable question to ask. And questions, which in fact, can be actually answered.
So when you look at the “demographic” (damn I love that word, makes you sound professional lol) of these conspiracy theory believers, there is an emerging pattern. See, almost all of these dumb motherfuckers are from rich, first world countries. Counties like, well you guessed it, America, the UK, Australia, Denmark, Germany and such. Why? Well there is subtle reason for it. There are no big conspiracy theory followings in say, India or Bangladesh. It’s always these rich, white countries.
WHY?
Drum rolls please! ………………..
Because they are rich, and life is relatively easy there. See, most of these people are white folks who have; shitty jobs, have failed in their life or are extremely insecure about themselves. If you spend 20 years of your life flipping burgers in McDonald’s living off minimum wage, then you prolly won’t be much happy about your life, would you? It’s those people who have been stuck in a rut, unable to do anything about their miserable lives and too scared to change. And there are those, “masterminds” (most of whom, don’t even believe it but are just putting on an act) who put out these crazy theories and act like a leader to their poor followers exploiting them for money or favors. And believe me, they have big communicates (just google “Flat earth society”), which form in the first place because, well these believers help each other reaffirm their crazy beliefs (kinda like an echo chamber). Mind you tho, it’s not the black folks, nor the Mexicans, generally speaking. Because, for this particular breed of vulnerable people (fit for conspiracies and cults), to develop, the misery must not be too much (for they will be unable to sustain themselves), nor they should be well off in life (because they need to be weak mentally); it is that sweet spot between utter misery and a hope for a better life where conspiracy theorist take birth. Blacks, Mexicans or even Browns, generally have harder lives then the good old white folks, you know the usual racism and shit. So they don’t generally make it into ‘All star team’ of these dumb-asses. And well, if you are smart enough, that also explains why Indians and Bangladeshis aren’t the usual conspiracy theorist; because these motherfuckers are too poor to care about that stuff! When you have 6 mouths to feed and no reliable job, who the fuck cares if the earth was flat?
So well… that was my grand ‘theory’ on ‘conspiracy theories’ (pun intended). All of what I said might itself sound like a conspiracy theory, and I wouldn’t blame you ; ) It’s all off the dome, free-styling you might say lol. So on that note, don’t take anything I said above seriously lol, it’s all fun and games.
But seriously tho, these people who really believe in conspiracy theories actually need help. Help them if you can and please be patient with them, don’t add to their problems in life (they have it hard enough already).
Peace.
= )
Honestblogs 